You knew, right?
I mean, before the BlogHer Top Ten post.
I don’t really hide it. In fact, I mention it quite often.
So, I was really surprised that so many people DIDN’T know I was Mexican when I spoke up at the Latinas in Social Media session at BlogHer. In fact, the response was almost hilarious. I always think my facial features, skin color, and spicy attitude give it away, but not even my fellow Latinas knew for sure.
I’ve dealt with not looking or being “Mexican enough” all my life. My hair is lighter and straighter than the norm. I have blue eyes. I have a ton of kids, but people used to just say that’s because I was Catholic (which I’m not anymore), but they never said it about me being Mexican. Odd.
I do know how to dance and I love wearing sexy dresses, but that can be any woman. Still, if you see me on the dance shaking my very Latina bottom… I mean, come on… you have to know! Is it because I don’t spend all day in the kitchen? Or do tequila shots? Or speak Spanglish? It’s the name, huh??
Well, surprise… I’m Mexican.
Latinas are known for being bold and confident. I hope I come off as such most of the time, but believe it or not, I was afraid to speak up at the Latinas in Social Media session at BlogHer. I was shaking as I stood up to ask my question. SHAKING! Funny, since I practically bribed Laura to hand over the mic. Those near me heard me say, “I’ll give you a dollar!” It made her laugh and stop. Then I pleaded with her (as we were running out of time)…
“This is really important.”
I don’t remember my words exactly. I was sort of stumbling for the right way to say what I needed to say. It was basically this, “I almost didn’t come here because I don’t feel like I belong. Although I am one of you, I don’t always share the same political ideals and I’m afraid to jump into the conversation and know for sure that I don’t belong.”
I choked up a bit, sharing with them that I have been called Pocha (pejorative meaning Americanized Mexican) and Coconut (brown on the outside, white on the inside) and have been teased by my family for botching some Spanish. It was hard to get out, but I needed to share, surrounded by Latinas. Although I was prepared for any response, I wanted so bad to hear that they understood. That I was one of them.
And that’s exactly what they told me.
Later, through hugs, some tears, and amazing conversations out in the halls, we shared, how we all looked different in so many beautiful ways… how all of our upbringings shaped our various perspectives on the world… how we expressed ourselves… and how, with all those differences, we still understood each other. Because we have that one awesome thing in common.
We are all Latinas.
~~~
Here’s a great wrap-up post by ModernMami: Latinas at Blogher 2010
Join the #Latism conversation on Thursday nights on Twitter, 6pm EST!!
I knew! I knew! LOL
It was great that you spoke up and shared your concerns with us. I’m so glad you feel welcome now and know that we’re all in this together.
Melanie (ModernMami) recently posted..Latinas at BlogHer 2010
The Latinas in Social Media was one of my favorite sessions at Blogher. I met so many brilliant women and was so touched by all of them. I’m so glad you spoke up and made your point. We should all be more supportive of each other as women and Latinas, regardless of out point of views. I was one of those that just had to hug you in the hallway
Awesome post. And yes… I think many of us can idenfity with you when we feel like we don’t belong.
You are absolutely right – we share that one beautiful thing in common. We are Latina.
BTW, you moved me with your words at the session. You really did. Kudos to you for standing up.
Saludos a nuestra hermana!
Best,
Li
@LaLicenciada
Li recently posted..Me Reinvented- My BlogHer10 Yahoo! Shine Moment
I had to run to an appointment after the session, but so wanted to hug and meet you. We Latinas are a kissing, hugging bunch! THAT totally gives us away
Good thing is we live in the same area and we´ll surely get to connect soon.
BTW, inspired by you and the Latinas in Social Media panel we´ve started the #latinabloggers hashtag and it´s been on fire!
Ana Lilian Flores recently posted..Dora the Explorer Turns 10… ¡Feliz Cumple- Dora!
Why am I crying reading this? Beautiful
Awesome, heartfelt post, Sugar!
We are so blessed to have you. When you spoke at the conference, I wanted to run over, embrace you and say: Welcome Home, Hermana!
I was even more overjoyed to see you join our #LATISM chat last Thursday… so from me and the Latism community, a HUGE virtual hug. You have been and will always be one of us, querida. See you on Thursday!
p.s. I will add your post to our LATISM.org BlogHer ’10 recap!
Sugar Sugar Sugar Sugar – I KNEW it! You are as querida as all the great Latina women I met at BlogHer. I was STARSTRUCK when you first said who you were. And quite candidly, although I knew who you were I had never read your blog.
NOW that I know you a little better, I know we’ll be pals forever and not just because you are Latina….but b/c you are YOU, hermana.
M
M
Being ½ Mexican and ½ Pacific Islander, I completely understand where you are coming from, “not fitting in”, I’ve always referred to it as ”ni de aqui, ni de alla”. I have always thought I identified myself more with my Latin side but recently a co –worker and I where discussing the census (not knowing which box I should) and she turned to me and said but you are WHITE, you where born here. So there you go I’m ni de aqui, ni de alla.
BUT I love my Mexican roots none the less!
I missed BlogHer ) : but still was able to find out that you were Latina somehow. LOL.
I don’t spend all day in the kitchen (is that what they think of Latinas????)!!! But I do do tequila shots..sometimes ( :
I think Latinas/Latinos are such a big connected group (like family) that when we find someone else we just get way too excited! Like Ana says many “abrazos”.
There are a lot of us that don’t look Latina…but are still so much alike.
Glad to have found you,
Marcela
http://www.culturemami.com
Most of the time I feel the same way. I also get the Pocha & Coconut comments ALL. THE.TIME. I’m glad you spoke up. (BTW I knew BEFORE the big reveal.) Always wondered if your name is really Dulce?
Janis recently posted..Just Sayin Saturday- Be Courageous
Thats what I LOVE about Latinos…we come in all shapes, colors, and even languages..a group that you can’t fit into a “one size fits all” Why do you think marketers have such a hard time with us?! Ha. I think you’re awesome Sugar – keep doing what you’re doing girlie! <3 <3
I am glad you got to speak up. That was a tough session to Mic Wrangle, because everyone had so much to say and I wanted to be fair. I learned a lot in that session (not being Latina, except by proxy—living in San Diego, I’ve learned a lot from my Latina friends).
I look forward to getting to know you and your blog better before BlogHer 2011, in SD.
Laura Lohr | My Beautiful Life recently posted..BlogHer Saturday- the Parties- the Swag- the Sessions
I love you Sugar Sugar. I have no radar when it comes to anything… I don’t know if I can blame it on growing up in a mostly white town or just plain oblivion but I am proud of my pioneer roots – very proud – so it always makes me happy to see people proud of their roots too.
Natalie recently posted..Has to be said
Excited about finding you and your blog!
Sugar!!! I’m so glad you spoke up, you’re rigth, we Latinas come in different shapes and colors and we mostly understand each other
I really enjoyed the conversation we shared after our panel, I hope we get the opportunity to see each other again before BlogHer11
Abrazos!!
Silvia recently posted..¿Qué es Vme – What’s Vme
I don’t care WHAT you are. As long as you’re my friend.
(Cheesy, but true.)
Bejewell recently posted..I’m Pretty Sure a Giant- Genetically-Altered- Rodent-Like Cockroach is Going to Eat My Face Off at the Gym Today
I’m totally feeling you on this one. If I had gone to BlogHer, I don’t know that I would’ve even had the guts to GO to the Latina seminar, let alone ask a question in it! I, too, am a halfie. But I come from the “Iowa Mexican” breed, which is an EXTREMELY Americanized version! And although I “look” whiter than my sister, I’m the one that looks more like the Mexican side – go figure! We are a fairer bunch, and I do have an aunt with blue eyes (you are not alone there!). Oddly enough, when we lived in Cali, that was the first time I could tell people I’m Mexican and they actually believed me. I would see women who could’ve passed for my aunts – the Mexican population was not just made up of the stereotypical dark skin and black hair. To make matters worse – and you probably get this a lot too, since your lighter – my hubs is from Texas. Which means I have Texas in-laws. In-laws who do not see me as “THAT” type of Mexican. So I get to hear their stupid jokes and whatnot. I’m not saying I can identify with illegals or day laborers, but my grandfather’s family worked as field workers when they came over (which is why they landed in Iowa). So I’m certainly not that far away from them.
Anyway, I don’t know Spanish, I can’t tolerate spicy food, but I CAN shake my ass on the dance floor, talk with my hands, hold my tequila like a champ, have massive cravings for refried beans, and the idea that family is everything (and I did NOT get that one from the white side).
So there you go. Sorry for ranting, but you touched a nerve. And it’s something I can’t really talk about on my own blog because my mom in law reads it.
I guess I’ve always wondered, now that I see this rise in Latina and ethnic bloggers (and conventions like Blogilicious), what does it take to define you as Hispanic? Do you HAVE to know Spanish? Do HAVE to eat Hispanic food at minimum of five days a week? How do you know you qualify? Is there a list of requirements out there somewhere? Cause I feel like if I tried to lay claim, I would get laughed at, or worse.
JenEverAfter recently posted..Decapitated Angels and Murano Glass